stillisstillmoving.com

Willie Nelson announced his plans to run for the President of the United States today on the Larry King Show.  Speaking from his Austin ranch, Nelson responded to King’s question of, “Why run?” with, ”I had no choice.”  King asked Nelson what party he was running on, and Nelson responded, ”I’m running on the party’s over party (for Bush and his war machine), and the party’s just begun party (for free-thinking people everywhere).  I’m running on that party.”

Senator Barak Obama’s aides expressed concern that their candidate may now lose the Stoned Hippie Vote to Nelson.  “Right now, the only thing we worry about is that they’re too stoned to remember to go vote,’ campaign organizers said under the promise of anonymity. “But now, even if they can find the polling station, we are afraid they will see Willie’s name on the ballot, start giggling and vote for him.  Everybody smokes pot, man.  We do it on the plane all the time!  If Willie gets the pot vote, it’s all over.”

Bill Clinton, campaigning for wife Hillary in North Carolina, told campaign workers that he was concerned about losing the Bubba vote to Nelson.  Speaking to supporters from the back of a pick-up truck, President Clinton said, “Now, I like Willie Nelson.  Willie Nelson is my friend.  But don’t vote for Willie Nelson if you think you are voting for a hillbilly!  Let me tell you, Willie Nelson is no hillbilly.   He owns a home on Maui.  That’s in Hawaii.  How many of you hillbillies own a home in Hawaii?”

Senator McCain was asked by reporters if he was worried about Nelson’s candidacy, and while he said publicly that he thought a wide range of choices was good for the American public, privately, aides reported that McCain has concerns about Nelson pulling from his old white guy constituency.