Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

another Willie Nelson joke

Friday, August 8th, 2014

johnnyknoxville6

Willie Nelson shared jokes with Johnny Knoxville during the Sirius/XM Radio’s Town Hall With Willie Nelson.  Here’s one Willie told:

At Christmastime, a mailman knocked on a door, and a woman greeted him, “Hello, Don, come on in.”  Then she led him to the back bedroom where she screwed his brains out, then took him to the kitchen where she fixed him a full breakfast with bacon and eggs and sausage and the works.  Then she walked him to the door, handed him a dollar bill and wished him Merry Christmas.

The mailman could not believe his good fortune, took the dollar and said, “What was that all about?”

The woman said, “Well, I asked my husband what we should give you for Christmas and he said, ‘Screw him.  Give him a dollar.’   The breakfast was my idea.”

Talk to your kids about marijuana

Sunday, July 6th, 2014

hempjoke

“It just ain’t the Fourth without Willie Nelson”

Monday, June 30th, 2014

philweisman52

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

tractorjoke

What Would Willie Do?

Saturday, April 19th, 2014

kennyc

“Hey Willie. It’s Kenny. This is hanging in a bar in Key West. Couldn’t resist!!

Love you pal,”

Kenny C

breaking news

Saturday, April 5th, 2014

gilligan

Thanks to Budrock “The Illuminator” Prewitt for this breaking news.

Friday, March 28th, 2014

thanks for the funny, Budrock

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

skihemp

I play a little guitar

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014

littleguitarlittleguitar2
www.WillieNelson.com

Monday, January 20th, 2014

waylonjoke

Thanks to Terry Jennings for this cartoon.

What Would Willie Do?

Saturday, December 7th, 2013

simpsons

Thank you, John Stoltenborg, for sharing this.

It just ain’t the Fourth of July without Willie Nelson

Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

philweisman52

Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

guitarjoke

Joke of the Day

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Thank you, Miss Tex, a/k/a Pat, for this joke:

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:    I’m on the toilet. Please advise.

Warning!

Saturday, July 20th, 2013

druguse