Lana Nelson Writes Tell all Book about Dad Willie Nelson (April Fool’s)

Scribner & Sons has announced that Lana Nelson has received a seven-figure advance to write a tell-all book about her father, Willie Nelson.  The book, with the working title, “Wipe your feet before you get up on this bus!,” is Lana’s story of growing up as Willie Nelson’s daughter, and life on the road with her outlaw dad.

When Lana was asked, “Why now?  Why write this book about your dad now?” she responded,  “Oh, I want to write it now while we can both remember things”

Is everything in the book true? 

“Oh, heck no, but who’s going to know?”

Willie Nelson was reached on tour and was asked what he thought about Lana’s revealing book about him. 

Have you read the book?

No, not yet.  She hasn’t written it yet.  We’re just spending the advance now.  Maybe she’ll write it when that’s gone.

Are you concerned about the information she’ll reveal?

“No, I’m kinda lookin’ foward to readin’ about what all I’ve done.  I’m glad one of us can remember what happened.  I think I’ve had a lot of fun, and I want to know what it was I’ve done.”

Lana, who has promised that the book will ‘knock your socks off,’  was asked for hints about the secrets she was going to reveal.   Wives?  Drugs?  Fights?

“Yes,” was all she said.  But she did throw a couple teasers:

Her dad does not smoke marijuana.  “Dad hasn’t smoked pot for 30 years. It’s just a rumor we keep circulating for his reputation.”

Her dad is the not the only one Lana tells stories on:


“Bee Spears does not play live at concerts.   His music is all taped.  He hasn’t played in years.  So we haven’t paid him in years.”


“Aunt Bobbie hates when Dad asks her to stand up.  She  threatens to quit after every show, until he promises he won’t make her stand up again.  Then the next show, he invites her to ‘stand up and  let the fans see you’.   They’ve been at that for years.”

“Mickey Raphael hates country music.”

“Billy English is listening to the Grateful Dead on his headphones during the shows.”

“The original title for ‘Me and Paul’ was ‘Me and Paul and Mickey,’ but Paul English beat dad at a game of chess, and he had to drop Mickey’s name from the title.”

If you want to read more about Lana’s book, visit

***** APRIL FOOLS! *****

Leave a Reply