The Tao of Willie, by Willie Nelson, and Turk Pipkin

The Tao of Willie: A Guide to the Happiness in Your Heart (Unabridged)
by Willie Nelson, with Turk Pipkin

The funny thing about advice is that no matter how good it is, most people are gonna do what they want anyway.  That’s why my general philosophy has been never to miss an opportunity to shut up.  So now that I’m writing a book in which I’m constantly giving advice, I must remind you to read the warning label on my bottle of wisdom.

Because something works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you, especially in large doses.

When a doctor prescribes a medicine, he doesn’t suggest you take the whole bottle, and neither does my part-time gynecologist alter ego, Doctor Booger Nelson.

Speaking of Doctor Nelson, did you hear about the woman who was such a fan of country music that she has a tattoo of Merle Haggard done in a very delicate spot, high on her right thigh, and a tattoo of Waylon Jennings high on the other other thigh.

Worried that the two tattoos weren’t recognizable, she slips off her undies, lifts her skirt to a guy in a bar, and says, “Can you tell who that is?”

So the guy puts on his glasses, looks real close, and says, ” I don’t know who those other two guys are, but the one in the middle is Willie Nelson!”

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